nxte:

nxte:

why did the scarecrow get a promotion

he was out standing in his field

  • Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
  • Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
  • Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?

caelas:

saying feminism is unnecessary because you don’t feel oppressed is like saying fire extinguishers are unnecessary because your house isn’t on fire

lesserjoke:

The one on the right looks so upset about this development.

What was your big break? 

The moment when [my short film] Marcel the Shell with Shoes On suddenly exploded on the Internet. Before that, I was on Saturday Night Live, but that wasn’t really me showing what I could do. SNL was my first big job and when I got it, I was excited — but also scared, confused and almost immediately hard on myself. That is not the way I wanted to birth myself into my career. A comedian friend of mine asked: ‘Do you think about the fact that 20 million people have viewed your Marcel videos [on YouTube]?’ But what’s important to me is the genuine surprise and delight I felt when I put something out there that was received with such love, whether it’s 20 million people or 20. [x]

"I don’t understand why sex is more shocking than violence.

- Lea Seydoux talking about American films. (via ramengirl48) -

You’re gonna need a pep talk sometimes. That’s okay. For now, remember this: You’re awake. You’re awesome. Live like it.

i-eat-men-like-air:

john oliver is really not fucking around 

sr