If you’re ever worried that you fucked up real bad, just remember that there are over 2,500 reported cases of vacuum cleaner-induced genital trauma in the United States each year. 


No I’m not smiling at you I’m smiling at your dog don’t look at me


Michael, do you remember, you specifically told me to only bring one sheet of paper? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. And I said, “Are you sure Michael?” And you said “Pam! Pam! Pam!” And then you sneezed in my tea, and then you said, “Don’t worry, it’s just allergies.” Do you remember that?


"text me when you get home so i know you’re safe" kinda people are the people i wanna be around

iheartradioThings are getting crazy backstage with @5SOS! Dang, they know how to ‘Get LOW!’ Watch their LIVE STREAMED performance tonight at 7pmET! 🎶🎸🎤