why did the scarecrow get a promotion

he was out standing in his field

  • Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
  • Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
  • Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?


saying feminism is unnecessary because you don’t feel oppressed is like saying fire extinguishers are unnecessary because your house isn’t on fire


The one on the right looks so upset about this development.

What was your big break? 

The moment when [my short film] Marcel the Shell with Shoes On suddenly exploded on the Internet. Before that, I was on Saturday Night Live, but that wasn’t really me showing what I could do. SNL was my first big job and when I got it, I was excited — but also scared, confused and almost immediately hard on myself. That is not the way I wanted to birth myself into my career. A comedian friend of mine asked: ‘Do you think about the fact that 20 million people have viewed your Marcel videos [on YouTube]?’ But what’s important to me is the genuine surprise and delight I felt when I put something out there that was received with such love, whether it’s 20 million people or 20. [x]

"I don’t understand why sex is more shocking than violence.

- Lea Seydoux talking about American films. (via ramengirl48) -

You’re gonna need a pep talk sometimes. That’s okay. For now, remember this: You’re awake. You’re awesome. Live like it.


john oliver is really not fucking around